The Pimp Limp

That’s what the high school kids are calling it anyways. Proctor took a quick look at the newest xrays and gave me the green light to experiment with full body weight on the broken leg.

With the aid of a walking cast, I can take maybe 10 steps before the pain is too much to bear (and I’d like to think that I’ve developed a decent pain tolerance). However, with one crutch acting as a less stylish cane, Mr. Elconin pimp limped his ass all over the Santa Barbara High school campus on Friday. Motivated by this small accomplishment I drove home and jumped on the exercise bike in the basement/wine cellar at the new Elconin compound. Over the past month I’ve ramped things up on the bike. In walking cast, I’ve approached 10 mile rides more than once, but on Friday I traded cast for shoe and had to back off sort of allot. I think I cranked out 1.75 miles in 30 minutes, a time I could have easily smoked on crutches, but it sure felt good to get the ankle moving.

Now if my poor little (actually its now almost as big as the right thanks to massive swelling) leg thought Friday was a shock, it was in for quite a surprise over the weekend. Remember the clients I was working with just before my dance with death? Well, they called last month and wanted me back, even if the butler and maid had to pick up the slack while I hobbled around on crutches. So Saturday and Sunday were on the calender as two full workdays on my feet. However, Saturday is first and foremost a training day. The other rippers had plans to dominate Mr. Lee’s, so I woke up early and made my way down to the Shed around 7am. Of course, I get there and the whole building is locked and the one key in my possession doesn’t open the main door. I call Phil and he offers to come let me in on his way to Santa Maria at 8:20. Hmmm, over an hour stuck in the parking lot. Fuck it. I take shit all time for the length of my warm up (Does a lion warm up....?) which takes nearly an hour, so I just got busy with my gimpy self in the parking lot. Push ups, core work, yoga, prehab - all without a walking cast. By the end of this active loitering I was feeling pretty confident on my leg. In fact when Phil arrived I walked about 30 meters over to meet him with only the aid of one crutch. He didn’t seem to give a shit. This combined with Elijah’s constant shit talking and over 7 months of pent up cranking urges inspired the workout that followed. Bring the “new cruelty”.

After limping to the chalk bag and doing a few laps of ladders to nine on the campus board, it became very clear to me that climbing on the wall was totally fine. I decided that if I could get a pair of climbing shoes on, I’d do a lap on the jug route, mantle the wall and “walk off” the back side. Soon, the shoes were on and I was sitting under the wall wondering how the divets on the foot board were gonna feel. Only one way to find out right? Unbelievably, climbing on the wall felt sort of good - much better than walking in fact. Hanging at the top of the wall I decided that I’d skip the mantle and down climb the same route. Again, no big deal. Huh. Motivated and psyched to a level rarely enjoyed by the human species, I managed to traverse the wall in both directions as well. Sorry Mom.

At least I spent the rest of the weekend actually making some money. Cooking required more than the usual buckets of energy. By the end of both days, I felt more like I’d run a marathon than prepared lunch and dinner for two. This crash course in bipedal locomotion, although not for the faint of heart, got me going in the right direction without too much delay. This week I’ll continue to step it up. Official P.T. starts today and the rest of the week will be filled with progressively longer walks around the neighborhood, more stationary bike work, some toproping and if all goes well, a trip to Mr. Lee’s this weekend..... for photos of course Mom.