Awakening

I’ll never forget more than a few prominent moments in my life. That first awkward kiss; winning the county math superbowl in 4th grade; grabbing my ankles while backbending in yoga; and that time I was diving in Bali and was convinced that the blurry object in the distance was a massive shark, fully panicked, and then discovered its true identity: a large arching rock.

And now, 2 finger campusing. Elijah, Phil and others who walked the halls of the Castle during the days of old have proclaimed the virtues of this almost forgotten art form. Granted it is only one step, albeit an important one, on the way towards enlightenment. For as long as I can remember I‘ve heard tales of glory and defeat. Some have achieved greatness through their commitment to the truth while others have walked away, their faith lost after years of devotion. The path to mono campusing is long and hard, but it truly is the only path worth walking. The way I understand it as follows:

In the beginning, God created mono campusing. God looked down on this creation and seeing the purity in it proclaimed “This is good. This is very good.” For a short while the universe was beautiful, joyous and strong. Mono campusing shined alone as the pinnacle of God’s creations. Man and animal alike reveled in unbounded ecstasy. But slowly over the course of many millenia the fire that is mono campusing has slowly dwindled as man’s craving for truth has been replaced with greed, envy and sloth. Now only a few modern day saints have committed themselves to developing the fortitude necessary to practice this holy of all holys. While us soiled mortals may never reach this level of enlightenment, the sages believe that campusing of any sort can help us begin the process of discovering our true nature and honoring our creator. As our souls are unearthed, those that can withstand the inner turmoil of spiritual cleansing and hold back the demons that will undoubtedly tempt them may begin to travel the rungs with less and less fingers. With 3 fingers propelling the body towards the heavens one often receives their first visions of the potential power that is housed in the tendons, but its not until the index finger (the seat of the ego) is dropped and the hand falls into balance that one may taste of our true nature. The old texts say that this first taste, while often accompanied by chakra openings, visions of the Mother Mary and levels of stoke only matched by The Planet C, is only a small fraction of what mono campusing has to offer.

I always believed this to be some sort of fairytale or myth, but now I understand. Last week I brought two fingers to wood, pulled down, and with a small leap of faith, blasted open my soul yet a little bit further. In those few short moments I know I witnessed something beyond time and space. 2 finger campusing has given me hope. Life will never be the same again. The old tales are not myth. They are truth.